A Healing Story

Psalm 103:2-4 2 “Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all His benefits—Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion”.

Have you been standing in faith for God to heal you of something?  Sometimes there is more involved with our healing than we first recognize.  I have been seeking God to heal me from insulin resistance and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) for a few years now.  Actually, it’s just been over the last year that I started truly believing that He would heal me of this.

Due to the insulin resistance, my body was not processing carbohydrates correctly.  Instead of breaking it all down to sugar and burning it off as energy, my body would keep the sugar in my bloodstream for long periods of time and not know what to do with it.  In response, my body would keep releasing insulin (which is a hormone), eventually storing it all as fat.  This caused a huge amount of weight gain for me, and I have been working so hard to lose it all.  I have lost most of this weight by not eating any sugar (except for the natural sugar found in fruit) and exercising.

I have been believing for God to heal me, and I can see the physical evidence of it daily.   The more weight I lose, the less insulin resistant I become.  It’s truly amazing to witness.  I’m starting to look like “me” again.

As I get closer and closer to my goal weight, (I’m almost there!)  I am beginning to realize that there is more at hand than my body processing carbohydrates correctly.  Losing weight has not healed my emotions.  When you find out you have PCOS, your whole outlook on food changes.  I’ve heard story after story of women who could never lose the weight they gained before being diagnosed, and very few stories of women who lost it and kept it off.   When your insulin is high, it’s almost impossible to lose weight.  It’s not like “normal” weight loss.  Food very easily becomes your enemy.

Back before I gained all the weight, I never remember craving food.  When I gained all the weight, though, I started craving sweet things every day.  I learned later that high insulin levels create cravings, but my insulin levels are not as high now.  I have no physical reason to crave anything anymore.  Sometime over the last 5 years (since I gained the weight), I started looking at food differently.  I started to look at it as a stress-reliever.  Now that I’m almost back down to the weight I should be, I’m finding myself really nervous to try something sweet again.  I’m noticing that when I’m stressed, lonely, overwhelmed or mad that I start thinking about food.  To be honest, I’ve been scared to eat anything sweet out of fear that I would give up on my weight loss.

I am also realizing that I look at carbs as my downfall.  (Not a wise thing to do!)  I was sick this past week, and I was only able to eat crackers and drink Ginger Ale to keep my stomach settled.  That’s all I ate for 2 days (and not much of it).  What are crackers and Ginger Ale, though?  Carbs!  I stayed away from things like this for several months now, and I ate them when I was sick.  What’s the problem with some crackers and Ginger Ale, especially when I didn’t have that much?  I gained 4 pounds.  I know, that sounds so unrealistic, but anyone with PCOS knows what I’m talking about.  It can be extremely mentally defeating, and it made me want to give up just even yesterday morning.  I went to a baby shower and ate what I wanted, because “everyone else was”.  Inside I felt so defeated.

That’s not walking in freedom!

God is showing me that He is healing me not only physically, but also emotionally.  He’s showing me that there’s nothing wrong with eating a piece of cake when we’re celebrating someone’s birthday.  That’s so different than eating a piece of cake because I’m feeling overwhelmed and think I need a piece of cake.  God is healing my body, and someday I will be able to eat some carbs without my body revolting against me.  I’m too close to give up now!

I recently read a blog post from a friend of mine who has dealt with this topic specifically.  It’s a wonderful testimony of God healing her from Celiac Disease and the hidden emotional issues that went along with it.  If you can relate to my post at all, I know that you’ll love her post titled, “A Healing Story“.  Please check it out.  It’s a true testimony of the healing power of God and the intimate relationship that He wants to have with all of us.